So, you realize your marriage is in trouble! With the many daily demands which leave you feeling overwhelmed, sadness sets in along with feelings of anxiety, feeling alone, depressed, lack of sleep, irritable. Then there are the kids schedules with all the demands that go along with that, pulling you in 10 different directions. There is your boss putting unrealistic expectations on you, not forgetting endless house chores. When you do get a minute to break away, its usually a girls night out, or a guys night out. It’s just easier that way. So, now that you realize your marriage might be in trouble, in and out of the bedroom. You ask, “where do we start? can this even be fixed”?
That always seems to be asked during couples counseling in my Windermere office
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.” Dr. Singrossi, It’s been so hectic trying to keep up with our daily lives, we have lost touch with each other. We hear of so many couples getting a divorce these days and we want to prevent that from happening to us. It scares us! How could we have let it get this bad”?
Well, let me first say you’re not alone. Also, realizing your marriage is in trouble is the first step. One suggestion is to start having date night. Once a week for starters. Now, before you reply by saying thats impossible, let me clarify. Date night simply means the two of you spending time together. That being said, no mention of the kids, chores , financial worries or any such issue need to be discussed. The goal here is to focus on getting back in touch with your feelings, you’re desires, your hobbies, each other. Talk about things you might like doing together. Date night can take place anywhere. In a restaurant, or the privacy of your home, or even as simple as in your own bath tub. Set the ambience as romantic as you like. Maybe some candles, dim lighting, soft music with a glass of wine. I think you get the picture. Ask yourselves, when was the last time you two laughed together? Or, what did you enjoy doing together? When did you last hold hands? Or sit on the couch together while watching a t.v show. Or give a morning kiss, hello. Other suggestions might be taking a walk together either in your own neighborhood or at a local tourist site. Maybe just laying in bed at night and yes, with all electronics off! Remember, you don’t need to spend a lot of money to have date night. The idea here is to reconnect emotionally and then physically. One step at a time.
I would love to hear your story and your ideas. If you’d like to share, blog it. Remember, couples counseling can be a great tool in helping your marriage get back on track. Reach out. Find the right therapist for you. Your worth it
drsingrossi 